A few weeks ago I sat down with a guest on my Whatever Matters podcast for a conversation I haven’t stopped thinking about.
We got onto the subject of confidence, and I asked him straight up where it actually comes from.
His answer stuck with me because it wasn’t what I expected. He said confidence always comes from yesterday. If you’ve done things yesterday, you’ll be confident today. But the further away you get from the last thing you actually did, the less confident you feel. So that window, between your last action and today, has to stay very, very small.
That’s not a motivational line. That’s just how it works.
1. Stop treating confidence like a savings account.
I used to think if I banked enough wins early on, I’d be set for a while. Point back to something I did months ago as proof I’m still capable. It doesn’t work like that. The marathon you ran two years ago won’t carry you through this week. The five kilometres you ran this morning will.
2. That’s a problem if you’ve been coasting.
If the last thing you’re proud of happened a while back, your confidence is running on fumes, even if it doesn’t feel that way yet.
3. It’s good news if you’re just starting out.
You don’t need a big, dramatic win to feel capable. You need tomorrow’s small thing, then the day after’s. That’s the whole mechanism.
4. Ask a different question.
Instead of “what have I achieved,” try “what did I do yesterday.” If that’s a hard one to answer honestly, you already know where the gap is.
Aristotle put it more elegantly than any podcast guest ever will: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” Confidence works the same way. It’s not a trophy you keep on a shelf. It’s a habit you either keep up or let lapse.
I’m keeping my window small this week. What did you do yesterday?
I’ll try to do the same! And oh how I resonate with this, I often skip a thing or two because I did it “yesterday” and soon that yesterday becomes a week or a month at times.
This makes so much sense!